We say this to kids a bunch, don’t we? I’m not sure it's the best advice. I’m thinking the kids are onto something more accurate.
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There was big drama in the US Open Tennis Championship just a few weeks ago. The number one player in the world forfeited and was ousted from a match. He was out of a tournament he was destined to win. One that was important to him.
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Your children are instantly navigating a new experience. Depending upon their age they don’t have the capacity to understand what’s happening in the same ways you do. For better and for worse. They don’t have the brain development to make meaning of what they are seeing and hearing. They exist more deeply on the feeling level. Not only are they trying to make meaning of the change in their lives, they are deeply impacted by you, the parents, their caregivers. In more ways that you might be thinking about. They are tracking on your every move.
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When I saw this title on a blog post I read, delivered to me from one of my favorite websites – Food 52, I immediately thought - oh yes, this is what I say to people over and over about relationships.
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I was teaching yesterday and someone offered this poem as our 'Remembering', a way to start the class. A poem by Billy Collins (who apparently is famous), about a gift for his mother. I enjoyed it so much I decided to offer it here as well.
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Most people are super-enthusiastic when they come to my classes and hear what seems like poetry and expresses the Nonviolent Communication consciousness. They hear the compassion, the curiosity, the clarity and the strength that can be communicated ~ even in significantly difficult situations.
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What are people really saying to you? You can use these barometers to help you understand what is important to the person you are speaking with --and also for yourself, when you might be confused.
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Trust. Commitment. These are important elements in a relationship. I’m sure you will agree. But how does it look in a healthy relationship? That we may not agree on. Please read on.
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To the disappointment of my trainer, I often read magazines while on the elliptical machine at the gym. A favorite is Real Simple Magazine. I like the pictures, quotes, suggestions and some articles, though I often find myself disagreeing with the advice given in the Life Lessons section. Here’s an example.
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